This article is more about attitude than starting up or anything else. It includes things Payd’s team learned at the Lean Startup Machine workshop at Bangalore. From our conversations, we felt a lot of people lacked these basics. Having similar origins, we felt it was our responsibility to write about it so that others could benefit from it.
1. Stop talking
The quieter you become, the more you are able to listen – BackTrack motto
Yes, stop talking. Your turn will come. We have seen great speakers who can go on for hours about what they do and what they think is right, but fail to actively listen to someone talk, for 2 minutes. Your best lesson might come from someone you least expect to deliver it. The issue with most passive listeners is, as soon as someone else starts talking, they start thinking about what to say next. It’s like when you take a girl out on the first date, and keep thinking about what to tell her next, so that there is not that awkward silence. Such conversations are not real.
2. Argue, not quarrel
Arguments are underrated. What, No? I think yes. What, you’re not convinced? Please let me.
Many people fail to understand the fine difference between an argument and a quarrel. At Payd, we debate each major feature, each significant change, each important decision. It’s never about the arguers. Sometimes, funnily enough, the arguers change sides and support what others are saying. It is surprising how constructive and contributing arguments can be, especially in a startup. They help you refine your existing ideas and give birth to new ones.
“In a good argument, arguers respect what others are saying. In a great argument, there are no arguers”
The object of the argument should be to arrive at a conclusion and get something concrete out of the debate. Most arguments are influenced by the ego of the arguer. Once that happens, you feel obligated to support your argument, and it becomes a quarrel. Remember: If there are no arguers, no one can lose.
3. “I do not know, but I will learn”
“I’m the type of person that if you ask me a question and I don’t know the answer, I’m gonna tell you that I don’t know. But I bet you what, I know how to find the answer and I will find the answer” – Will Smith in ‘The Pursuit of Happyness’
Your attitude towards learning decides how fast you learn. Sooner you admit you do not know, the quicker you can learn. Some people find it embarrassing and shameful to admit that they do not know or understand something. What they need to be reminded of, is that we are all born idiots. We do not walk until we’re one. We do not talk until even later. We learn so much because we do not have this attitude problem when we are young. Learning stops when you grow old enough to have that problem.
The fact is, most knowledgeable people always admit if they do not know something. This makes it comfortable for others to converse with them, and makes them seem more genuine and approachable. Such people are coach-able and are loved by mentors and investors.
4. “Help me”
What separates those who achieve from those who do not,
is in direct proportion to one’s ability to ask for help – Donald Keough
When you ask someone for help, it does not mean you’re lacking anything. There was this time when I had to ask for my kid brother’s help to get an insect out of my room. He was good at it, I am Entomophobic. Likewise, I taught him how to swim. I knew, he did not. It doesn’t say anything about any of us. It just means we are capable of helping each other.
When you cannot do something by yourself, instead of wasting more time, you should ask for help. It doesn’t matter if your helper is your boss, your employee, your mom or your gardener. Knowledge can come from anyone.
5. The upside-down-bucket syndrome
This is a very common hindrance we find in entrepreneurs. What happens when you place a bucket upside down and pour water over it? You waste water, the bucket doesn’t fill.
Most people are like the bucket. During one of my conversations with a team, I pointed out a problem that they had and asked if they had a solution for it. They did not admit that the problem was real in the first place. The problem was so real that a 12-year-old could spot it. Acknowledging the problem is the first step of finding a solution. I spent almost 20 minutes trying to help them (In fact, I had a solution that they later admitted was sensible). All they did was try to defend their idea. They did not understand we were all on the same team. This is what happens when you are not open to things. Those 20 minutes were a waste of their time and my time.
In startups, and any walk of life for that matter, your attitude decides a lot of things. It’s painful to see people with so much potential throw everything away just because they are not ready to change their attitudes. A humble and grateful attitude can go a long way and matter even more than skill and aptitude.
Kannan is a co-founder of Payd. He is also one of the founding organizers of Lean Startup Machine in India. He helps early-stage startups figure out stuff, and loves working with energetic teams. You can find him on Twitter and LinkedIn.
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